From the Inside

you have me in a choke hold

hands pushing deeper into my skin

leaving fingerprints as if I were clay

I tell myself I’m being controlled

but I’m not so sure today

you’ve gotten deep into my heart

at the perfect place to rip me apart

from the inside

one day, a few years ago

you came as my hero and

saved me from the unknown

it’s hard for me to turn from you

because I feel like I owe you my life

for helping to pull me through

what I didn’t think I could take

I don’t think you mean to hurt me

but you cut through me like a knife

from the inside

you mean well, I know you do

but when I see you with your friends

I die a little from the inside

because I need you

you make me and you break me

but I need you from the inside

I need you to myself, all the time

because without you, my rhymes don’t rhyme

but you seem so much happier with them

I was once told that if you truly

care about someone, set them free

if they come back, they’re yours

if they don’t, they never were

so maybe, no matter what it does to me

I should let you go

because I want you to be free

I know we said best friends forever

well, not actually out loud

but from the inside, we did

"I don't want to be flawless. When I go, I want the cuts to show."

Yet another Pink song. This one is called "Timebomb".

Rethinking & Sinking

Roses are red, violets are blue

I promised to stop writing about you

but obviously, I’m not through

I am still thinking of you

A few months ago, I wasn’t the same

I am the only one to blame

I pushed you away

now I’m begging you to stay

Can we try again?

I want to be more than friends

this can’t be where the story ends

I’m seeing you through a different lens

I’m falling through space, falling through time

trying to make what I’m feeling rhyme

doesn’t make sense to me

what is this supposed to mean?

if only, if only

you knew I was lonely

I’m rethinking

I’m sinking

I think I do miss you

maybe this is all wrong

I’m just stuck in a stupid love song

I can’t get my heart broken yet

stop. wait. ready. set?

GOOO! I’m falling through space, falling through time

trying to make what I’m feeling rhyme

doesn’t make sense to me

what is this supposed to mean?

should I take a chance?

I don’t know if I can

I guess we’ll just wait and see

how this turns out for me

if only, if only

you knew I was lonely

because roses are red and violets are blue

yes, I am still thinking of you

"Life is just a little part of what the world will do..."

In 7th grade, I discovered the artist Pink. She's been my favorite singer ever since. This is a lyric from her song called "When We're Through". I'll leave you to look it up on your own.  Although you are more likely to know her as the singer of "Get the Party Started" (if you're somewhat old) or, more recently, "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)", this is one of her earlier tracks.

Climbing

I’m busting out of my shell

can anyone tell?

I’m leaving all of them behind

yes, you could say I’m out of my mind

I’m starting over and taking a chance

gonna learn the steps to this new dance

I’m tired of trying

I wanna start climbing

I’m not here to impress you

heck, I’m just messing with you

I’m in the dark, looking for light

you can bet I’m willing to fight

looking for my castle in all the wrong places

trusting lies from all the wrong faces

I’m changing, I’m trying

I’m falling, I’m flying

two steps forward, one step back

but I guess I’m kind of fine with that

I’m gonna jump off this cliff

to see if I live

I may sink or fly

but it’s worth a try

cause I’m done with you and done with me

looking for a world worth to see

don’t know where I’m going , only where I’ve been

not gonna lie, I’ve done my sins

but I can’t go back to fix that

only going straight and fast

I don’t want to carry all this pain

I’m out of here on the next train

say goodbye cause I’m leaving now

not coming back just to get pound

I’m going to where the grass is greener

and my conscience is a lot cleaner

tired of the same thing everyday

watching you pass and making that face

you, my friend, can talk to the hand

cause I don’t need you in my plan

I’ve got people to see and things to do

so let me tell ya, I don’t need you

I’m still learning to walk in my own shoes

so I’m not surprised when I sometimes lose

my toes wiggle and the laces are long

but that doesn’t mean I’m not strong

cause when I finally get back up

I’m better than when I messed up

I’m solving, I’m learning

I’m losing, I’m burning

two steps forward, one step back

but I guess I’m kind of fine with that

so I’m ending it now

going to figure it out

watching the world passing by

I’m looking out from the inside

looking for the rainbow after the storm

yeah, you could say I’m begging for more

I’m tired of slipping, tired of falling

but that is just destiny calling

everything is going to be okay

I’m just trying to find my way

I’m going, I’m doing

I’m winning, I’m moving

two steps forward, one step back

but I guess I’m kind of fine with that

That Girl

seen as the girl who has it all

but really one who is about to fall

one glance and you would think

that her world is painted pink

under the fake smile and make up

are the reasons she is covered up

too many scars that run deep

false hope playing hide and seek

carefully constructed walls built strong

to protect the girl who has done no wrong

caught in a fight that pulls her apart

stuck in a world that only seems tart

this is the battle that she fights

outnumbered every day and night

crumbling castles and melting crowns

broken promises and barren towns

a shooting star that lost it’s way

there are no heros coming today

feeling alone in a crowded room

is this life endless doom?

yesterday left with great speed

tomorrow is never guaranteed

she’s trapped in a web of another’s lies

and all that’s left to do is try

being told to reach for the light

but wondering if it’s worth the fight

walking through life scared and alone

like a princess who got kicked off her throne

at night in her bed, sleep does not come

the pain of her dreams are much too strong

silence chokes words wished to be said

thoughts building pressure in her head

sweet candy lost its taste

each day is another challenge to face

it could get better or much worse

and that is the truth to this terrible curse

one thing that she has left

is a pounding heart in her chest

as long as her heart continues to go,

this is her fight and this she knows

Love (age 13)

how could a tiny word mean so much?

is it said out loud or felt with a touch?

when someone says “I love you”,

how do you know it is true?

why do people play this game

if it only ends in hurt and pain?

if my heart really did break

how would I fix my mistake?

am I supposed to just get up again?

pretend that I’m happy to lose a friend?

laugh as I witness their last escape

and then in silence sit and wait?

for something better or something new

and just forget everything about you?

let myself be attached by the heart

just so I can be slashed apart?

let the part of me that knows best

be turned into a bruised piece of flesh?

no, I couldn’t take that risk

because I know that I’ll miss

I know that I’ll crash hard

because I never keep up my guard

maybe I could try to come prepared

so I won’t end up scratched and teared

I’ll come hands in fists ready to fight

because love is not going to ruin my life

but love is masked with innocence

evil can slip by without giving hints

a boy smiled at me the other day

should I have smiled back or ran away?

some say love is a nasty game

a wild beast you must try to tame

fairy tales end with happily ever afters

movies suggest only love matters

but I’m not an actor or a princess

what are the answers to this love mess?