I really hope I’m just confused
what a great word
like my mind just switched something
but this isn’t little
could come to define me
but this isn’t too big
I would be okay
just something to think about
switched
maybe I’m just reflecting
a chameleon in a rainbow
a happy chameleon
but, nonetheless,
confused.
I’d live to be in love
maybe that’s the problem
too eager too soon
or too late
fifth grade first kiss
left for another girl
because if it were for me
it would have happened
after everything that’s passed
I still believe in that
but I’ll never know
if it’s the wrong person because
of the person they are
or the person I am
either way it didn’t happen
I’m kind of glad
because that means
I get to save it
put it in my pocket
play it in my mind
keep it in my heart,
a lonely vessel,
I’m kind of regretful
it’s hard to open a door
that doesn’t have hinges
but when it happens
when I turn the knob,
look over my shoulder
make sure I still think
that they’re worth it
I’ll know
and
I won’t know at all
maybe that’s what will
make my first special
to be so deeply terrified
yet wise, yet vulnerable
with all the fear from my past
no fifth grade first kiss
for this girl
meant to be left
confused.
