Deal little brother,
Happy 13th birthday
it’s crazy because
I remember being 13
it feels like yesterday
when I was 13,
I had my first boyfriend
he told me he’d kill himself
if I left him
and it still feels like yesterday
that holding hands
felt a lot like handcuffs
and the butterflies from the fear
years later,
I still get butterflies
when I run into him
the kind from deep within your stomach
that make you want to scream
but the lump in your throat is like a gag
so you can’t
and you’re 13 so you don’t know
what abuse is
to this day, I have never felt as terrified
as when a boy blackmailed me
for his own life
turned boys to monsters
and love to a contract
so little brother,
I hope you’re nice to girls
but I see who you hang out with
Nike swag head to toe, hat flipped
thinking they’re the shit
like little frat boys waiting to grow
watered by hyper masculinity
and one day, I know
gatorade turns to beer
victims of bullying to victims of suicide
weak boys to weak men
please be strong little brother
be vulnerable
be pretty
be emotional
be passionate
be anyone you want
except the 13 year old boy
who abuses 13 year old girls
you don’t have to be empty
to be strong
you don’t have to threaten your life
for someone to stay with you
you are worthy.
